Me In One Word - FANTABULOUS!

Don't Be Jealous

Yes, I'm cute, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful. I hear that, and more, so often my ears twitch. What is a girl to do when she comes by it naturally? Flaunt it.

When I walk into a room, heads turn.  When I speak, conversations stop.  I may not have a job but I still manage to bring home the bacon.  I can't help it if no one else in the house can eat it.

Yeah, I've got one of those.  A roommate that is a pain in my wagging tail.  Can I help it if she invites a guy over and he spends the time feeding me treats and whispering sweet nothings?  

To be honest, I think I'm doing my roommate a favor.  Most of the men she brings home are out of her league.  Even if the world were not blessed with my lovely presence, she couldn't snag a boyfriend.  Talk about hopeless!

SO STOP HATING ON A KITTY, ROOMIE!

And about that job, I don't need to know how to cook, clean or find employment.  That's why I have you.  Quit moaning and groaning and find a job that pays better. We could both use a few new things. Me, a new condo.  You, a personality  Me, the cutest collar at popsugar.com.  You, a head to toe make over.  Oh wait...better get two jobs that pay well.

I could lay a few more home-truths on you but it's past my nap time.  Wake me when dinner is ready. 

Toodles!

Meet Kitty's roommate.

My Roommate Has Got To Go!

What am I to do?

I can’t bring a man home. No sooner do I, than she comes switching her big tail down the hall. All eyes immediately follow her. I might as well be plaster on the wall. Her blue eyes stare directly into my guest’s eyes as she brushes past. Game over, he’s in the bag. Is she aware of her allure, her power? You better believe it! Her eyes flash at me in satisfaction as she parks herself in what should have been my man’s lap.

My no cooking, no cleaning, man stealing roommate has got to go!

My days are long. Clients and a demanding boss crowd the hours from sunup to sundown. I arrive home to find her spread out on the couch. Lounging like a queen at court. Does she ask me about my day? No. She demands dinner right away. Uncaring if I’m sick or tired.

My no cooking, no cleaning, man stealing roommate has got to go!

She had nowhere to go, no one to love so I opened my home to her. Now she seems to be under the impression I am her slave. How about contributing toward the rent sweetie? Since you think you’re so “fly”, let’s see if you can get your big tail on camera.

My no cooking, no cleaning, man stealing roommate has got to go!

Don’t get me wrong, she has some good qualities and right now I’m trying to remember what they are. I love her or she wouldn’t be here. I should have my head examined, I know, but she’s my best friend.

My no cooking, no cleaning, man stealing roommate has got to go!

She doesn’t have a resume but maybe you could find it in your heart to give her a job anyway? I’ve posted her picture.

Oh man! I can feel it! 

My no cooking, no cleaning, man stealing roommate just stole your heart too!

     

Related articles:

Behavior We Accept from Our Pets (That We’d Never Let a Roommate Get Away With)

(apartmenttherapy.com/authors/adrienne)
Old Roommates (spreadinformation.wordpress.com)

Ask Me - Question 1 (staceyarcher.wordpress.com)
Roommates, chores and groceries galore! (brandylovestomatoes.com)
Dropbox Etiquette - Stu Maschwitz (stoweboyd.com)
The Wet Jet (kellieckdahl.wordpress.com)