Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm Speechless. When I finished reading Our Dark Duet, the sequel of Monsters of Verity, I needed a couple of tissues. Yes, I'll admit I shed a few tears. The author, Ms. Schwab noted that the book took a lot out of her. It took a lot out of me too. The book ends with the beginnings of hope, but as Kate Harker would say, everything has a cost.

The atmosphere of the first book, This Savage Song, was very dark and is carried through into the second installment. The characters August and Kate are reunited under the worst of circumstances and things quickly spiral from bad to worse. This book will drag you in and wring you out. Both books, are well plotted. The characters are so vivid it is not difficult to imagine them. The advisories are intelligent and menacing to a point where you hate them but can't wait to see what they are up to next.

Would I read these books again? Yes. After I've recovered from the first time around. Well done Ms. Schwab.

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Now I Rise by Kiersten White
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It took me a while to finish this book because I was so busy. I'd sneak and read a few pages here and there. I'm glad I did. This is one of the best books I have read this year.

I was blown away with And I Darken, the first book in The Conqueror's Saga. I have to say, book two, Now I Rise, literally knocked me over. I am quickly learning that Ms. White is an author that uses words stringently. Whatever is written on the page, take notice. No matter how innocuous a word may seem, it will be dragged out in glaring light to haunt you, tease you, and shock you, later.

The Characters are so robust, this book almost reads like an engrossing history book. The emotions and scenes are vivid to the point of being painful at times. I can usually guess the direction of the plot of a book. I'll by honest, I have no clue where this saga is going, and I can't wait to be yanked into book three. Love, hate, confusion, betrayal, brutality, family...The Conqueror's Saga has it all.

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His Home Is His Cardboard Castle

Build him a house and he will come.

It started out as an entry in a contest, but quickly became much more when I had a hard time getting my cat Pepper to relinquish the cardboard structure to me every day.  I had entered a contest to build a cat house made of cardboard.  You could use fabric, other forms of paper and some plastic (Not more than 20% of the entire structure.)  The glue, fabric, paper, markers, paints...anything used to construct the cat house had to be none toxic.

I'm no architect, but for five thousand dollars I decided to compete.  I didn't win, but I did place within the top twenty out of the two hundred plus entries for cardboard cat houses.  For that, I received cat food coupons.  Hey, it's better than nothing.

At the time, Pepper was only a year old and it was obvious he was going to be a large cat.  With him in mind, I made all the rooms in the cardboard cat house as big as I could so he had room to grow.  Most of the time Pepper was in the room keeping vigil as I worked.  He talks a lot so I imagined him telling me to move that box a little more to the left.  Make it higher.  I hate that fabric!

Pepper is smart.  I teach him a new word or two every day.  He understands the words ball, catch, go get, brush (brush-brush), eat, no, sit, treat, here and outside.  I teach him words the way you would a child.  I either show him the object and repeat the name over and over, every chance I get, or if it's an action, then I repeat that.  It's not instantaneous, but he does grasp onto the words and their meaning fairly quickly.  I shouldn't have taught him house and mine until AFTER I had finished the cat house.  

Half way through the project, Pepper grabbed up his favorite little white teddy bear, trotted into the cardboard house, and made himself at home.  From then on, the challenge was to get him out every morning so I could work on the cardboard house.  The only enticements that lured him out of his new home were treats and brushing him down or "brush-brush" as we call it.

Eventually, the project was completed.  Could it have been better.  Yes.  But Pepper loves his five room house so that's all that matters.  I intend to build a smaller house for my office so he has somewhere comfortable to hang out while I'm working or reading.  At least he's big enough now he has stopped lying all over my laptop.  Now we fight over who gets to sit in my chair.  As you can surmise.  I get an earful when I move him, even though he has his own chair.  Don't say it.  I hear it all the time.  He's the king and I the lowly servant.

We were given a budget for building the cardboard cat house of $100.  The glue consumed most of the budget.  It cost $7 a canister.  I used boxes I had stored in the garage after I moved so I had zero expense there and all the fabric trim were the free sample pieces I picked up for from Home Depot and Lowes.  When I walked up to the register with my bounty I received some strange looks until I explained about the cardboard cat house contest.  After the explanation, everyone was so helpful and some even gave me pointers.  Thank you everyone!!!

The flowers along the bottom were made from construction paper I picked up at a local dollar store and the self-groomer cost $5 at Petco.   

Larger pieces of carpet cover the floor of every room.  There are five rooms.  Those were cheap as well.  I bought remnant pieces for $2 each at the local dollar store.  

The paint was free as well.  I picked it up and the towns chemical drop-off site.  There you can find all kinds of paints and adhesives at no cost.  I just asked for non-toxic paints and surprisingly there were quite a few to chose from.  The color is supposed to be purpling dawn.  It came out more like a light mauve or pink.  

The last item I had to purchase was the most important.  A small tub of Elmer"s glue.  After I had the boxes cut out, but before I started pasting them together, I brushed down all the surfaces of the boxes with a mixture of the Elmer's glue and water.  You brush it on and making sure that the surface is slightly damp.  When it dries, the cardboard a lot stiffer and a little more durable.  So far it has even withstood Pepper's claws.  

The only thing left for me to do to make the cardboard cat house a happy home for my cat are to add some cushions to the top of the towers and make add some curtains to the room he sleeps in.  For now I've just thrown a blanket over that section to keep out the light.

I'm trying to muster up the energy to start of house number two now.  Maybe this time my cat will leave me to work in peace.  Wishful thinking on my part I know.

My Great Escape

I'm addicted.  My drug, a good book.

Walk of Ideas, Berlin-Mitte, photo by Lienhard Schulz

I think I spent at least seventy-five percent of 2015 in the hospital. That is a truly depressing realization, but it did give me quite a bit of time to either read or listen to numerous novels. As with all things, there were good books, bad books and downright awful books. I enjoy reading fiction. I find good fiction to be consuming. I can immerse myself in pages of suspense, blood chilling horror or heart rending passion, or anything else that strikes my fancy.

Good books have always been my way of escaping the harsh realities and uncertainties of life. I'm not saying this method is right or wrong; it's just saying how I deal with stress. Boss a royal pain that day. I nice murder mystery is on the menu for the night. And the first person to get bludgeoned, stabbed, or shot? Sorry boss man, glad to see you go! Postman left my package on the porch in the pouring rain. Oh no! He got mauled and eaten by a werewolf! For those few hours, between the pages of a good book, my problematic world does not exist.

My hope for 2016 is to inhabit a hospital less, while reading more. As for my own books, dying or not, they well be released in 2016. I have a plan this time. It's called an assistant.

Below are a few, not just good books, but fantastic books I have enjoyed this past year. Maybe you will like reading them too. I will review no more than two or three good books in each post.

Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo

Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo

This trilogy is a gem I discovered while browsing Amazon one day. The first five chapters of the first book, Shadow and Bone were being offered for free. All the reviews were good, which prompted me to download it. The first chapters hooked me as a few of the pivotal characters are introduced and they enter "The Fold". Believe me, you will want to know what that is. The feelings of fear, unrequited love, overwhelming exhaustion and confusion, expressed by Alina Starkov, are easily conveyed to the reader.  Within an hour, I was downloading the whole Grisha Trilogy via Overdrive from my local library.

The Grisha Trilogy has is all. A war, monsters, spies, an all powerful villain and a love story (or maybe two?). The author, Leigh Bardugo, creates a world that you can not only see in your mind's eye but also feel. The cold and brightness of the snow will have you drawing your sweater closer to you. Your fingers can almost stroke the richness and colors of the kafkas the Grisha proudly wear. And the treatment of the Grisha by the warring factions will leave you outraged and hoping they make it to Ravka. The plight of the protagonist, Alina Starkov will leave you breathless. I love a good book that not only will place their characters in jeopardy, but is not afraid to take that precarious step and eradicate characters we have come to know and may like. Characters who do more than exist in the periphery of the story. The antagonist, The Darkling, in spite his name, is not all darkness. Even when his actions are beyond the pale, it's hard to dislike him because we are made to understand what drives him. A few times as the story unfolds, I found myself hoping the Darkling and Alina wound up together. I thought the union would give the Darkling the balance he was lacking. 

I have read this trilogy several times now. It never seems to grow tiresome. I'd definitely recommend the Grisha Trilogy to one and all.

The Talented Saga by Sophie Davis

The Talented Saga by Sophie Davis

Sophie Davis is actually a writing duo.  Their combined talents have spun stories that have your adrenaline running on high octane.

The Talented Saga is much like peeling an onion.  The more you read, the more layers get pulled back.  The pace is on target.  Not so slow it drags or so fast it leaves you behind scratching your head because you don't know what happened.  At the time of this post, book number six, Inescapable is scheduled to be released in the June.

The dystopian saga follows the exploitation of Talia Lyons, a mind manipulator.  Yes, there are an overwhelming number of books involving girls who can manipulate minds.  I myself have read many.  The Talented Saga runs with the head of the pack.  In another post we will discuss the other good books in that category.

Talia Lyons' world, as she knows it, comes into question when she learns the people she loves and trusts may not be worthy of either sentiment.  If that isn't bad enough, she soon finds out that she is more important to her organization than she was lead to believe.  As her knowledge expands, her allegiance changes, but how do you fight a government agency with cart blanche, very deep pockets and a long reach?  Talia and her friends find a way, though the cost is rather steep.

I love the characters.  In the later part of the saga, Talia flounders in emotional turmoil which made me wish one of the other characters, namely Erik, would just smack her.  I can understand the reason for her quick, almost violent, flashes of anger, restlessness, jealousy and even despondency.  However, Talia's character had been strong, resourceful and intelligent up until that point.  It makes the reader step back and remember, through everything that has happened, Talia is still a teenager.  She's entitled to her meltdown.  Fortunately, it doesn't last long.

This is another series/saga that I have read several times.  I think you have to, if you want to understand the nuances of Ian Crane, and the lengths he is willing to go to create the ultimate...   Ah, ah. ah...you have to read the books to find out.

The Talented Saga, is a real page turner.  The first book, Talented, is free.  You should download a copy today and step into Talia's world.

Kitchen Experience Not Required

He Was A Woman’s Dream

 

Kitchen Experience Not Required

Handsome, nice body, educated and successful. His name was Jason Winslow and there had to be something wrong with him or he wouldn’t have been left on the shelf, at age forty-five, for me to pluck down.

I mean, Jason was just too good to be true! We’d talk for hours about politics, religion, philosophy, the previous night’s episode of Fringe, a show we both enjoyed. Even when he was brutally honest, some how Jason managed to take the sting out of his words. Nice right?

Jason was the first guy I could drag in front of my friends and family and not be afraid some stupid remark would come out of his mouth or worse yet, he’d emit something foul from other orifices. Don’t act shocked! We’ve all had that date who gassed up a room so badly you’d have thought an animal had crawled into them and died. I know a few gals, who even married such dates. Hey, whatever floats you boat.

And then it happened. On a rainy weekend in late April Jason asked me to have dinner at his place. We had been dating for roughly four months. Up until Jason's invitation, our dining choices had been to eat at my place, go out to a restaurant or somewhere outdoors if the weather permitted. This time was different. Jason was going to cook. Jason never cooked. We had been dating for several months and he had never volunteered to do so before. I was flattered. The only other time a man had offered to cook for me, dinner had consisted of me arriving to find the guy stretched out naked among a table full of food. Needless to say, I passed. Not gas…just quickly back through the front door. And if you're asking, you will meet that fellow in the posts of The Bachelor. I'm not sure if Jason fits in the bachelor category. I'll let the night unfold in this post and you decide.

Jason took total control of the kitchen that evening. I wasn’t to so much as touch a pot, pan or plate. He only wanted me to sit on a stool at the counter, drink my glass of wine, and keep him company while he prepared dinner.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked.

“Lemon-pepper chicken stuffed with spring vegetables.” Jason answered.

My eyes roamed over the counter. I saw a mixture of greens and scallions and deduced that was going inside the chicken. He even had a small bowl with all the seasonings mixed together that he was going to rub onto the chicken. It only took a few seconds more to realize what was missing. The chicken.

“Umm, Jason,” I hesitated, “Honey, where’s the chicken?”

Jason smiled and kept right on chopping vegetables as he replied. “In the sink. The recipe I’m using said to wash the chicken thoroughly.”

I looked over at the sink and saw nothing but sudsy water. Again I hesitated, “Umm, Jason. What are you using to wash the chicken?”

“Palmolive dish liquid. The commercials say it leaves your hands soft as it cleans so I thought it would clean the chicken but leave it tender as well.”

I nearly choked on my wine trying not to laugh. Did I tell Jason that wasn’t the way you clean a chicken? Eventually, but not that evening.

Later that night, we dined on a lovely meal of lemon-pepper Palmolive chicken stuffed with spring vegetables, roasted potatoes and garlic bread. What’s a little stomach ache between friends right? As we ate chocolate cake, thankfully purchased at a nearby bakery, Jason proposed. It was well worth the duck runs I had for the next two days.

Related articles:

Roasted Chicken with Vegetables (gicrockpot.wordpress.com)
One Pot Roasted Chicken and Vegetables(girlinterruptedeating.wordpress.com)
Lemon and Sage Roasted Chicken with Caramelized Endive(endiveblog.wordpress.com)
slow cooker fall apart chicken (backtoherroots.com)

Death Becomes Me

Death Become Me

I hurt all the time.  

Each breath I take is well earned because I fought tooth and nail for it.  I sit upright speaking, laughing and yet I'm drowning.

"You look good".  My neighbor affirms as she studies me from across the table.  I want to ask, is that a compliment or her way of saying, "There's nothing wrong with her.  She's making stuff up"?  Sometimes I think it's a way of people glossing over death and dying.  If you look okay on the outside, you can't be doing too badly on the inside, right?

I hear her sentiment echoed often from the people I love who know about my conditions.  Notice the plural?  So many times, in fact, that it begs the question, "What does death look like?"  Should everyone who is ill and dying all wear the same kind of suit of clothing?  Should we perhaps attach calendars or clocks to our backs to denote an expiration on our lives?  Would it be better if we stopped being seen in public?  Or moved around listlessly moaning and groaning?  People are not alike.  Do you truly expect the way people react, or look or feel when dying to be carbon copies?

My hair is white as snow.  Thanks to one medication or another that keeps my heart ticking, it sweeps down in a thick cloud to the middle of my back.  My eyes were once a dark velvety brown.  I loved my eyes.  Thanks to yet another medication, my eyes are now a dark gray.  To me, I look odd; burnt sienna skin, white hair and gray eyes.  I miss the old me.  I don't complain.  Things could be much, much worse.   I could be lying underneath all this beautiful green grass that stretches for miles in every direction outside my window.

When I go out, people stare.

"Oh look!  Storm!"  I heard one day.

"What the hell is that?"  I inquired.

"You know, Storm from the X-Men?" was the reply.  Now I remember.  Where is a Doctor Xavier to patch me back together when I need him.

A few people will be surreptitious with their stares.  A quick glance here or there and then off they go.  But they are the minority.  Maybe moving to the butt crack of civilization wasn't such a bright idea.  At the time, all I wanted was freedom and peace.

The majority will gawk as they point at me.  They speak in staged whispers...or not...to make sure I hear them.  They loudly, and with much ignorance, speculate on everything from my race to my eye and hair color.   I must be wearing contacts, a weave, a wig, a bronzer to make my skin tone slightly red.  On and on it goes.

Then you have the bold ones.  They walk right up to me and ask where I came from, what race am I, are my hair and eyes truly that color?  Just yesterday a woman stomped right up to me in the supermarket and lectured me on "sisters" trying to be something they were not.   Where does it end?

Oh, oh...I've gone off the rails again haven't I?  Back to my cozy circle.

"You look good."  My neighbor, friends and family say.  They don't witness the sleepless nights filled with pain.  They don't see me when I'm on the floor or the couch, shaking and cold, for hours upon hours because my body doesn't have the oxygen or strength it takes to get up.  I don't eat or drink much because the pain is not worth it.

"You look good."  They say, as I forget their names or that I spoke with them yesterday or an hour ago.  They are not there when I throw things in frustration because I constantly lose things around the house.  Or can't, for the life of me, remember a simple word like telephone or mailbox today.  Would I still look good if they had seen me breakdown and cry?  A few weeks ago I found a receipt which showed I had gone shopping, but I couldn't find any of the purchased items.  To this day, I'm still searching but I have to admit, it's a wasted effort now.

"You're still pretty."  My doctor consoles as he pats my head, after telling me my condition has gone from moderately severe to severe.  I am not illegible for a heart transplant.  My memory lapses are going to increase.  And chances are great I will lose my sight altogether.  Huh, forgetful, blind and panting like a dog...but I look good.

Yeah...death really becomes me...

IQ and Personality Tests

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

I have never run across an IQ (intelligence quotient) or personality test I couldn't resist taking. I am not sure how much merit I stock in the results, but most are fun to take.  I, like many, indulge out of curiosity and entertainment.  The same cannot be said for academia, many employers, and of course psychologists.  These groups and organizations have come to rely on IQ and personality tests to measure the intelligence and primary personality traits of an individual.  At times, IQ tests, and personality tests, such as the Big Five, are used to help determine if a person is suitable for placement at a college or university; or if a candidate is a viable consideration for a singular company or job.  And let us not forget the psychologists, who, after developing these models, are always eager to then use the tests to delve into our psyches.

Earlier I mentioned the Big Five. This personality test was originally created by Ernest Tupes and Raymond Christal in 1961 but the model was "tweaked" and redefined by four other groups of researchers over the years. The Big Five personality test used today is credited to Lewis R. Goldberg, Paul T. Costa Jr. and Robert R. McCrae (1992).

Psychologist assert the test measures the five fundamental dimensions of a person’s personality. They are called OCEAN or CANOE, for short. The acronyms stands for Openness to experience and intellect, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism.  For a more indepth explanation of the Big Five personality traits click here.

Recently, I took the Big Five Personality Test.  Below I have provided my OCEAN or CANOE scores:

Openness to Experience/Intellect

High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.  You are relatively open to new experiences. (Your percentile: 80)

Conscientiousness

High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.  You are very well-organized, and can be relied upon. (Your percentile: 92)

Extraversion

High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun-loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.  You are relatively social and enjoy the company of others. (Your percentile: 64)

Agreeableness

High scorers tend to be good-natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.  You tend to consider the feelings of others. (Your percentile: 93)

Neuroticism

High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.  You probably remain calm, even in tense situations. (Your percentile: 2)

Now that we have tossed around a few items in my closet, let's look into yours.  Test yourself to see your scores!  The Big Five Personality Test

Other IQ and Personality test.

Two other well known, and frequently used, personality tests are the Myers Briggs developed by Isabel Myers Briggs and her mother, Katharine Cook Briggs, (Click this link for more details about the Myers Briggs personality types) and Jung Personality Test developed by Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Carl Gustav Jung.

IQ Test - Take this fast IQ test to get a taste of what a real IQ test is like.

In the results of this free IQ test you will see how many questions you answered correctly, and for each question the right answer and an explanation. This IQ test has practically all components that are standard in most IQ tests. It includes questions related to spatial intelligence, logical reasoning, verbal intelligence and math.

Other Tests offered at 123.com:

Classical Intelligence Test

Culture Fair Intelligence Text

Personality Test

DISC (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance) Personality Test

Tired of clicking on dots and check boxes?  With interactive tests created by psychologist professor Richard Weisman founder of Quirkology, your test on youtube.com are visual and interactive videos.

How predicable are you?

Take the YouTube Interactive Personality Test

If you like taking tests for fun here are a few links to some other tests you might enjoy.

The Do-Re-Mi’s of Personality

Find out what your taste in music says about your personality with this free on-line personality psychology test.

The Morality Test

Assesses your moral attitudes, particularly as they relate to your religious and cultural background. By moral we mean those aspects of thought and behavior that relate to commonly accepted notions of right and wrong, and to selfish and unselfish.

BLIRT Test

This test measures a personality characteristic that determines who you relate to most effectively. Who is right for you? How does the way you deal with your emotions influence your relationship satisfaction? This psychology test will give you information about yourself and act as a guide to you. 

Twins! Introduction

This site lets any two people, regardless if you’re actually twins, compare your personality and behaviors on a number of criteria.

An Angel Flew Home

JoGeo Keah 1974 - 2015

I Only Met JoGeo Keah Once

It's that way with some people.  They don't have to say or do a lot, yet they leave an impression which lasts a life time.  I have been fortunate enough to meet three such people while traversing the winding, challenging and sometimes tragic highways of my life.  The only way I can describe them is special.  Yes, I know we are all special; but there is no denying the rare people placed sporadically about this big blue marble who seem to have a extra ingredient or two.  That extra "special recipe" which surrounds them with the gift of warmth, serenity and love.

I'm probably not doing a very good job of explaining this phenomena.  I'm a writer, not a philosopher, indulge me while I try again.  Have you ever met a person and you don't know why you feel really good when you are around them?  They promote feelings in you that say, "everything is going to be okay", even when they haven't uttered a word.  Their mere presence wraps you in an invisible blanket of peace and comfort.  Their lives, though far from perfect, encourage those around them to do better, give more of yourself, blaze your own path and love with all you have.  Think of a super positive, no side-effects, walking, talking version of vicodin, or oxycontin.  Are you getting this yet?  

JoGeo Keah

JoGeo Keah was such a person.  I met him once at a birthday party.  Our interaction probably lasted no more than an hour, but it wasn't difficult to see JoGeo was a guy blessed with the "special recipe".  After that night, our roads never intersected again, but I never forgot him.  JoGeo's brilliant glow may not be lucent where we can bask in it anymore; but I believe a light, which burned so pure and so bright, can never be extinguished.  

JoGeo, though you have flown away, you will forever be nestled within our hearts.  You are greatly missed.  Many tears are still shed at the empty space you now leave.  We understand...or try to.  It was time for you, an earth-bound angel to return home.  You go with much love from those left in the shadow of your wings.

The Bachelor, Part One

To know him isn't everything

Several of us may be ashamed to acknowledge such a creature, even if he is your brother, uncle, neighbor, or boyfriend.  Heck, I’ll even jump out on a limb and throw in a couple of husbands and fathers.  For this post, and to keep it clean…which is more than a few deserve…we will call this breed of man the bachelor. No one is perfect, but the bachelor is a man so far from perfect a scale has not been invented yet that can measure his shortcomings.

This form of bachelor, the bachelor, is not to be confused with the quintessential bachelor.  What is the quintessential bachelor, you ask?  According to the NWTW Encyclopedia (me), the quintessential bachelor is the man, which through stupidity or tenacity (depending on your point of few) has managed to elude the ever-tightening noose of a permanent/long term commitment or marriage.

What separates the quintessential bachelor from the bachelor?  I have a list.  Do you have a month or three to read it?  If not, I’ll throw out a few quickies here.  I'll skim the surface with greediness, laziness, uncaring, unfeeling, cunning, lying, selfishness, all wrapped up in a big ball of disregard.  While the quintessential bachelor will touch upon these traits, certain characteristics more than others, the bachelor happily immerses himself in these off-putting characteristics.  The amusing and yet confusing factor about the bachelor is that despite all of his negative qualities, he still manages to be charming, loved by many, and in a lot of cases, prosperous.

Am I coming across as a bitter sexist?  Probably.  Am I?  No.  In fact, you’ll more than likely wind up shaking your head or laughing out loud at some of my friend's and my sightings or interactions with some of the bachelors.  And don’t worry; there will be a post…actually closer to a book…to describe the bachelorette.  If you know one of those, you might want to invest in good health coverage, life insurance, and an ironclad will.

So let’s start with a person, near and dear to my heart.  A very close relative we will call Ducky in this post.  I recently moved half way across the country.  Ducky only lives several hours from my new home.  I stopped there for a week to hang out and catch up on family news.  I am embarrassed to admit, the names have been changed, but this is a true story.

My first night at Ducky’s house

Ducky:  “I hope you have a towel in your bags.”

Me:  “I do.  Why?”

Ducky:  “'Cause I only have two and one of them is wrapped around the ironing board.”  

Me:  It takes me a while to digest this bit of information.  “Wait, didn't I just meet your girlfriend?  Becky or something like that?  What does she use when she stays overnight?”

Ducky:  “We either share the one towel or she sits out on the deck and air dries.”  

Me:  I could feel a headache rolling in at the absurdity of it all.  Ick factor not included...yet.  “Why doesn’t she bring towels with her or why don’t you buy more towels?”  An easy solution, right?

Ducky:  “What for?  One is good enough for me.  Plus, Becca is not allowed to bring anything over except the clothes she has on and a good bottle of wine or vodka.  Keeps her from getting ideas about us.”  Incredible!

Me:  “And she’s okay with this arrangement?”

Ducky:  “She just made us dinner, tonight.  What do you think?”  I think I’ll be eating take-out for the duration of my visit.  With a boyfriend like Ducky, I can see a whole lot of foreign objects making their way into his food.

Me:  Okay…so when your one towel is dirty, then what do you do?”  What can I say?  I’m a glutton for punishment.

Ducky:  “I take the towel off the ironing board and use it until the laundry is done.”  

Me:  Dare I ask?  “And the ironing board?”

Ducky:  “I use a sheet on the ironing board.”

Me:  “Why can’t you leave the sheet on the board and use two towels?”

Ducky:  “I only have one set of sheets.”  Goodness gravy!  I can’t believe we belong to the same family, much less the same species.  

A couple days later, still at Ducky's house

I stroll into the kitchen while Ducky is feeding his pet cat, Patches.  He is filling a bowl with dry cat food when few pieces spill out onto the table.  Instead of putting the stray pieces of cat food back into the bowl, Ducky tosses them into his mouth.

Me:  “Dude!  Did you just eat cat food?”

Ducky:  “Yep.  You might want to start eating some too.  The days are drawing near when cat food will be all you can afford.

Me:  I have a cat too, remember.  Their food isn’t exactly cheap.

Ducky:  “I can see I need to school you on the Ducky University of Logic.”  He lifts the bowl of cat food and waves it under my nose.  My throat closes up as the fishy-meaty smell attacks my nostrils.  I push the bowl away.  “This one bowl has all the vitamins and nutrients Patches needs to be a healthy and thriving animal.  She only requires a cup’s worth three times a day.”

Me:  “Yes, Patches…a cat.  Not a human.”

Ducky:  “Please!  Do you think everyone you meet in the pet aisle at the supermarket is buying dog and cat chow for a pet?  You’d be surprised how many tuna casseroles start with a can of Friskies or beef stew with a can of Gravy Train.”  

Me:  Now I’m truly glad I decided to eat anywhere but at Ducky’s house.  “Uhm…Ducky, do you ever do that?  You make a very good salary.  It’s sad, but I can understand someone who resorts to eating pet food because they don’t have money…”

Ducky:  “Here's lesson number one:  I travel all over the world.  I have a beautiful home, nice car, and a healthy bank account.  Know how?  'Cause I’m smart.  I leave that six dollar package of beef in the meat section of the grocery store and pick up a ninety cents can of beef in the pet aisle.  Never ignore a good bargain.”

Hmm, that’s enough of Ducky right now.  We have just grazed a few issues that make Ducky one of the bachelors.  We'll get back to him later.

My stomach is starting to roil as I speculate on what exactly I ate the first couple of nights at Ducky’s house.  Needless to say, I left quick and in a hurry.  Ducky occasionally calls to see when I will visit again now that I live relatively close.  I tell him soon.  The honest answer is never.  He has to come visit me.  I have a plethora of towels, sheets and food fit for human consumption.

Do you know a man who exemplifies the bachelor?  Do tell!  I’m sure we’d all love to read about him.

Stay tuned for part two of The Bachelor.

Me In One Word - FANTABULOUS!

Don't Be Jealous

Yes, I'm cute, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful. I hear that, and more, so often my ears twitch. What is a girl to do when she comes by it naturally? Flaunt it.

When I walk into a room, heads turn.  When I speak, conversations stop.  I may not have a job but I still manage to bring home the bacon.  I can't help it if no one else in the house can eat it.

Yeah, I've got one of those.  A roommate that is a pain in my wagging tail.  Can I help it if she invites a guy over and he spends the time feeding me treats and whispering sweet nothings?  

To be honest, I think I'm doing my roommate a favor.  Most of the men she brings home are out of her league.  Even if the world were not blessed with my lovely presence, she couldn't snag a boyfriend.  Talk about hopeless!

SO STOP HATING ON A KITTY, ROOMIE!

And about that job, I don't need to know how to cook, clean or find employment.  That's why I have you.  Quit moaning and groaning and find a job that pays better. We could both use a few new things. Me, a new condo.  You, a personality  Me, the cutest collar at popsugar.com.  You, a head to toe make over.  Oh wait...better get two jobs that pay well.

I could lay a few more home-truths on you but it's past my nap time.  Wake me when dinner is ready. 

Toodles!

Meet Kitty's roommate.

Eviction From My Heart

This Is Your Notice To Vacate

The room I treasured most was yours.  

Warm and comfortable, you wanted for nothing.

To have your love, was enough to pay the rent.

Lately, your kisses are few and words of love fewer.

You’re a squatter, taking up space where you no longer belong.

You have broken your lease.

It’s time for you to go.

I’m giving you notice.

Make sure to clean up.

Be gone by the next beat.

You’ve been evicted from my heart.

Ways To Save Money On Auto Repair

Some Simple Ways To Save Money On Car Repair

In an effort to save money in today’s economy, a lot of us have opted to hang on to our present vehicles and maintain them instead of purchasing new vehicles. If you’re like me, a check engine light ranks right up there with finding out you need a root canal – a big pain and expensive.

While I don’t know any way of minimizing the pain of a root canal, short of taking better care of your teeth, I do know some ways to take some of the sting out of your next auto repair bill.

Join an auto club. Some of the advantages of becoming a member of an auto club are obvious. Flat tire changes, battery jump-starts and towing are usually the first services that come to mind, but did you know some auto clubs offer discounts for repair at designated auto repair shops? Quite a few also offer extended warranty plans. You should compare auto club benefits to see which is more suited to your needs and budget before becoming a member.

Purchase an extended warranty. Whether the current warranty on your vehicle is ten years or thirty days, sooner or later it will expire. You should start checking out extended warranties before your current plan runs out. This will allow you to choose a plan that fits within your budget and covers as much of your vehicle as possible without being rushed into a decision you may regret later.

Buy an OBD Reader. OBD (On Board Diagnostic) Readers or Scanners are electronic gadgets that plug into an appointed outlet in your vehicle and give you the codes responsible for the warning lights on your dashboard. OBD Readers range in price from $25 and up. The advantages of having a OBD Reader at your disposal are priceless. Having an idea of what is going on with your vehicle before you take it to an auto repair shop can save you money and peace of mind. It also helps protect you from auto repair shops that are less than honest about your vehicle's problem or repair shops looking to pad your auto bill with unnecessary repairs.

Do you need to know what your codes are and don’t have a OBD Reader? Some auto parts stores, such as Auto Zone, will read your codes, and give you a printout to take to your mechanic for free.

Ask up front about deductibles and discounts. It is no secret that times are tough. A lot of auto repair shops; especially franchises, offer coupons on their websites. Check websites for coupons. If you don’t see any coupons, don’t feel ashamed to ask the repair shop if they offer any kind of discounts. You’ll find that more than a few repair shops provide discounts but they don’t volunteer that information.

A word of advice, if your auto repair shop insists that they must do a diagnostic of their own to see what’s wrong with your vehicle, make sure that the cost of the diagnostic is deducted from the cost of the repairs. Be sure to ask before the diagnostic is done. If the cost is not deducted, maybe it's time to look elsewhere.

Buy your own auto parts. What is the breakdown for the costs of an auto repair? Parts plus labor. Labor costs are usually regulated by the state, but an auto shop can mark up the price of auto parts anywhere from twenty to fifty percent. I don’t know about you but I’d rather keep that money in my pocket and not put it in my mechanic’s. Another plus factor in purchasing your own parts is that many come with rebates, warranties and some even give you money back when you return the used part for recycling.

Auto parts stores, salvage yards, dealerships and the internet make it easy for you to acquire the parts you need. Being a member of some auto clubs, such as AAA, also help by giving you a discount at certain auto part stores or dealerships. When dealing with salvage yards, don’t be afraid to haggle over the price. Just remember to check around to get a general idea of how much others are asking for that particular used part. If you do not have an auto repair manual for your vehicle's make, model and year, you might want to consider purchasing one. You can also find some websites that let you download manufacturer manuals for free.

Don’t be intimidated by your mechanic. I don’t know how many times I have gone to an auto repair shop and once I have told them that I will be purchasing my own parts; they have given me ominous warnings about buying the wrong thing or have flat-out told me they do not allow it.

Maintaining your car is unavoidable, being stuck on the side of the highway with an immobile vehicle is avoidable (most of the time!). I am fifty-plus years old and have owned four cars in my lifetime. My fourth car purrs and responds better than my cranky cat. Believe it or not, I still see my first car, which I sold over fifteen years ago, zipping around town now and then. Boy I miss that car!  

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